THE LIGHTER SIDE

The Million Dollar QuestionNovember 2018

The Million Dollar Question A poor man walking in the forest feels close enough to Gd to ask, “Gd, what is a million years to you?” Gd replies, “My son, a million years to you is like a second to me.” The man asks, “Gd, what is a million dollars to you?” Gd replies, “My Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDEOctober 2018

Contractor’s Bid Three contractors are bidding to fix the White House fence. One from New York, another from Tennessee, and the third, Florida. They go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Florida contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. “Well,” he Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDESeptember 2018

Two Questions Teacher:I’m going to ask two questions. If you answer the first one, you won’t have to answer the second one. Student:Okay. Teacher:How many hairs to you have on your head? Student:692,387, 210. Teacher:How do you know? Student:Hey, that’s the second question. I don’t need to answer that! Rebecca W. Doctor’s Advice Patient: Dr. Gold, Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDEAugust 2018

Forget Me Not There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDEJuly 2018

Camping Trip A dad coming back to his campsite for sunscreen while the rest of his family plays at the lake notices a van pulling up into a neighboring empty site. As soon as the engine dies, the doors fly open and four children of varying ages burst out and fly into a frenzy of Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDEJune 2018

Baseball 101 At one point during a little league baseball game, the coach said to one of his young players, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?” The little boy nodded with affirmation. “Do you understand that what matters most is whether we play together as a team and put forth our Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDEMay 2018

On Time Jack had trouble getting up in the mornings and was always late to work. After a few weeks, his boss threatened to fire him if he did not start coming to work on time. So, Jack went to the doctor, who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDEApril 2018

Daring Dude A billionaire decides to throw a massive party for his 50th birthday, so during this party he grabs the microphone and he announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with two great white sharks in it. “I will give anything they desire of Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDEMarch 2018

Sink or Swim While ferrying workers back and forth from an offshore oil rig, a helicopter lost power and went down. Fortunately, it landed safely in a lake. Struggling to get out, one man tore off his seat belt, inflated his life vest and jerked open the exit door. "Don't jump!" the pilot called out. Read More »

THE LIGHTER SIDEFebruary 2018

Forgetful Canine A dog walks into a butcher shop and the butcher asks, “What do you want?” The dog points to steak in a glass case. “How many pounds?” The dog barks twice. “Anything else?”The dog points to some lamb chops and barks four times. The butcher wraps up a two-pound steak and four lamb Read More »

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