Most human beings are addicted to addiction. Seemingly by default, we are addicted to being right. This is an addiction thatcan easily be worked on. Doing so yields big benefits.
How many times do you find yourself arguing from some position you aren’t even committed to? Imagine we shifted the energy of arguing into an energy directed at being kind instead of being right?
Kindness Conquers All
In being right there are no workable compromises, only positions that we defend. We expect apologies first, and the other person to assume responsibility second.
We need to look at this refocusing as an opportunity to let go of our need to be right and work with others, rather than expending energy defending our position.
Sure, this will take some time if you are used to “being right” or have made other people “wrong” for expressing their feelings.
Many times, we spend so much time defending our point of view that we do not even hear or think about the advice of some really great people, who are also “right” about their point of view.
Explain to the other person that you recognize their point of view.
Allow the person to ask you questions. Give them the opportunity to speak without interruption.
Avoid defensiveness, do not become emotional.
The other person may not be used to your new approach, so show that you are sincere and genuine.
If you may have wronged anyone while trying to be right, you should aim to apologize to those who were directly or indirectly affected by your overly sensitive and defensive approach.
Move on. Take what you learned and understand that you will be able to approach future situations with mindfulness and kindness. The key is to follow through! Show that you are not all about being right, but are about doing the right thing. Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did so or not.
Keep a good attitude and do the right thing even when it’s hard. After all, the harder it is the easier it will become.
Norman Balassiano has 25 years of social services experience.
Certified in Yoga-Meditation-Breathing techniques and Hypnosis.